Revival for Survival

How has actually this happened?
I have actually come to realize that my life is not just what I wanted it to be. I will not even look in the mirror anymore due to the fact that just what I see is not just what I want to be. The more I consider it the more depressed I do become. There is only one way from this mess and that is to dig my way out and I mean literally dig.

I can not remember the time I had been healthy and every bone and muscle in my body is letting me know it. I have actually severe back pain that I try and hide now because I believe everyone is sick and tired of me wining about it. The neglect is tremendous and it shows.

My weight is the main concern here. Sitting here at 100kg I look down at my bulging belly. There are no roles to speak of just solid fat. Now if I go back to 2007 when I lost my weight I was still not healthy I was still smoking and I was still drinking. This behavior was my downfall. I was surrounding myself along with bad habits. These habits where my undoing and I know that now. I would certainly wake in the morning and drink a coffee and have actually a cig and I would certainly instantly believe to myself well I have actually ruined it for the day, there is no use for exercising I will try and quit again tomorrow. Well this would certainly go on during the week and then the weekend would certainly hit and I would certainly add beer to the mix of bad habits. Once again just what is the use in training if beer and smokes are my number one habit.

Jump to today. Like I said I am 100kg. I did quit smoking for a bit there and put on weight. I stopped drinking and was feeling great until I met along with some old friends that smoked and drank. I remember telling myself just what is the worst thing that can happen along with a beer and a smoke I will just stop tomorrow. Well tomorrow was 3 months ago.

So here I am writing this in a desperate plea to myself to modification my life. I want to be healthy. I love life, I really do. I want to enjoy every last bit of it. So it is time for a change. I have actually smoked my last smoke. I will no longer drink. My only habit is going to be healthy eating and exercising.


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